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OXFORD'S VICE-CHANCELLOR SHOT
19th December 2006: Postal bullet inserted
Oxford's new Vice-Chancellor, holding the ceremonial silver bullet
Eyewitness reports by Akme governance correspondent Ollie Garchy, 14th & 28th November 2006
On 14th November, during the first round of Oxford's historic Congregation debate on governance reform, an American tourist asked one of the proctors manning the busy Sheldonian gates what was going on. The proctor replied: "They are deciding whether or not to shoot their Vice-Chancellor." After two hours it was voted that a ceremonial silver bullet be carried towards him very slowly by a butler flanked by bedels, through a five-year series of committees, amendments, appeals and further debates. Huddam Sossein requested that he be shot like a reformer rather than hanged as a common criminal, while elsewhere on the same day, the entire higher education ministry was taken hostage by a group of militants disguised as academics. Two weeks later at round two of the debate, because of the deteriorating security situation, instead of the usual formal robed procession, Noori Al-Hoodawi was hurriedly whisked into the building surrounded by a posse of nervous minders and wearing a simple camel-hair coat. Once inside, the civil war took a dramatic turn as they were met not with a single silver bullet but by a hail of gunfire which left 456 injured and President John seriously wounded. Some of Hoodawi's supporters tried to restore control by recruiting an army by mail order, but the resulting postal bullet went against the interim government 1540:997, leaving Al-Hoodawi fatally crippled and the Grey Zone buzzing with talk of a succession. According to The Independent, it was rumoured in Sadder City that Huddam Sossein had ordered one of his many 'doubles' to be shot in his place.
Reports, pre-votes: Independent, Guardian (Colin Lucas), Sunday Times, Observer, Times, Times leader, Times (Terence Kealey), Guardian (Chris Patten), Guardian leader, THES, Financial Times, Oxford Student,
Cherwell, Varsity. Official OU transcripts of the debates:
14/11 & 28/11.
Reports, post-vote 1 (14/11): Times, Telegraph 1, Guardian 1, Guardian 2, Independent, THES, Oxford Times, Oxford Student, Cherwell, BBC online, Vernon Bogdanor + comment links, Telegraph 2, Libby Purves. Post-vote 2 (28/11): Times, Telegraph, Guardian, Garton Ash + comment links, Financial Times, Independent, Times Higher, Al-Anryan, Bringing into the shit. Al-Hoodawi's I won't resign letter (Jpeg). Post-postal-bullet (20/12): Times + letters, Telegraph, Guardian 1, 2 + comments, Financial Times, Independent, THES.
5th October 2007: A billion Big Issues, Sir? Oxford Times 16th November 2007: Postal bullet arrives at destination: Independent & Times 22nd November 2007: King Gnome takes ricochet Guardian
Background: 2005 Hood's horizzzzon + links to V-Cs' orations, January: Oxford in crisis Times, Telegraph, Price of Europe, THES + leader, February Business Week on Hood and interview, Patten humming, Guardian, Varsity, Cherwell, Colleges to lose autonomy or not; March Mutiny, riots, rebellion, Hood's foreign horizzzzon; Simon Jenkins' Over the brink, Two appointments with Mammon, Needn't pay, won't pay!; Learning environments plurality, April: Staff bullied with bad syntax THES, Guardian, Independent, Guardian 2. May Appointment of Julie Maxton, disappointment of Anthony Howard, mitherings of Alan Ryan. Cong votes 351-153: Guardian, Independent, Times, Oxford Times, Boston Globe.
V-C's letter on Indian post-doctorals and He don't resign. Autumn: President John in Far East, Enough Saïd, Times, Financial Times, Hood hunted, Oxford Student, Cherwell, Lord Butler, Indy leaders, Hood's boost, Curb your Vice-Chancellor, Scheming spires. 2006: Family matters. Basket case in pinky-yellow gives FT interview and turns Beggar Sahib. Dons plan protest + letters, $420,000, No confidence vote and New turmoil + Victor Blank items (see also next panel below), Pinky and Perky, Shackled, Boil lancing, Hood under fire, then Dismembered (An al-Ryan holding knife + Akme's proposal), Hood under fire again, but gets Whacking rise. The College Game, OXIP & Prospectus, JRAM raid,
A World-Class Mess, Bam!, Forth!, Flying Sheets, Blank off! King Gnome's Cream Tea, Luscious Liora Lazarus, Julie Maxton interviewed. The anti-Hood Blue Paper. Hood & Dellandrea caught in bed with Al Qaeda oil suspect: Times, Times Higher, Oxford Student, Cherwell.
Wafic Saïd exposed in BAE bungs scandal: Oxford's Al-YamahYamahYamah and Oxford, Arms Trader.
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