The philosopher Alan Ryan (who divides the publications section of his CV into Articles in Learned Journals and Articles in Less Learned Journals, under which he lists both the Times Literary and Higher Education Supplements and the New York Review of Books) is about to retire as warden of New College, Oxford. The job is to be advertised externally for the first time in the college's 630-year history. Ryan himself, a Balliol man who returned from teaching at Princeton to take the Oxford job, had earlier been a tutor at New College. His most famous predecessor was William Spooner, of "the Lord is my Shoving Leopard" fame. The vacancy is said to be genuinely open, and the dons are agog.
JULY 2008: AKME HAS LEARNT that, on account of his disreputable roles in the Malcolm case (click for his ultimate degradation, with links) and the Aylesbury land scandal, not to mention his numerous other disgraces, the New College Fellows presented Lord Yada with the choice of being formally and messily deprived of his post or voluntarily taking "early retirement", and he opted for the latter. Result! In September 2009 he is to be replaced by Sir Curtis "Thanks a lot, Purcell" Price.
The New Collegers were so anxious to get Ryan off their premises, they have agreed to continue paying his Warden's salary during an absent sabbatical year (2009/10) to be spent at Princeton, while his pals there have stumped up for a further two years of his yada yada. His promised masterwork From Plato to Nato is awaited with baited (sic) breath. Poor Kate, losing all that retro bling. Still, she's always welcome at Akme Expression... - A. M.