TOPIC PANEL INDEX (IN ORDER): 2008 Bookseller articles, UPs' 1940s failed claims, UPs' 1970s tax-exemptions, Charities' 'public benefit' consultation, The Gatekeeper's creep-out,Bodleyworld, OUP's ACCOUNTS 2007, OXFORD COLLEGE ACCOUNTS 2005/6, The worst science textbooks?, Touch me minky (OUP's tax), The Brownmail begins, V-C shot, New Trough Trouble, Fame's Penny Trumpet, The Masque of Academe, Slavery-Airbases-Oil, Man of Straws, Sadimasochism, Crete con, AKME STUDENT LAW LIBRARY and Oxford's contract, Student rents racket, Oxford IS racist (Versi case), Maglen's Ignoble Road, OUP's tax & accounts index, Alan Ryan's bathwater, Medic admissions, Acland fiasco, ODNB farrago, Tank on the fields, Tanks on the lawns, More access scandals, Scandals, various, Publishing news, OXFORD CUTTINGS LIBRARY, LITERARY LAW LIBRARY, Akme history & books, Malcolm vs. Oxford I & II, Akme Expression, Borders on the insane, Malcolm for Chancellor.


quick welcome graphic

June 2008: OCCUPIED TERRITORIES

While the peoples of the Middle East continue to re-enact their ancient, bloodthirsty, biblical wars, the first public shots have just been fired in a parallel battle for enfranchisement being conducted in their namesake areas of north Oxford.

The future ownership of two estates of houses built by OUP at Jordan Hill and Webb's Close in the 1950s and '60s for its print and paper mill workers hangs on the question of whether or not OUP was then a charity. Regular visitors to www.akme will by now know the truth on this question, but with so much at stake will Oxford University and its lawyers?

Click for Oxford Times 'No right to buy', published letter and Akme chronology

April 2008: THE GRISTMILLER'S GRIND

The Gristmiller  25/1/08 The Gristmiller 8/2/08
Once again, on 25th January 2008 The Bookseller magazine bravely raised the contentious question of the university presses' tax-exemption, most notably OUP's and CUP's, and once again it bravely quoted Andrew Malcolm on the subject. On 8th February, after consulting its lawyers (and with their slight modifications), it further published on its leader page Malcolm's response letter. It thereby for the first time in any UK publication aired some of the hitherto suppressed revelations posted on this website (e.g. in the next two panels below) and widened the 'public benefit' discussion attending the new Charities Act (third panel below) to include the commercial activities not just of Oxbridge's university presses, but of the two universities themselves, and of their 76 "totally separate" colleges. And on 24th April The Bookseller has now published attacks by rival, tax-liable academic publishers on the two UPs' manifestly unjust privilege.
The Gristmiller's straws are in the wind...

Click now for Enter The Gristmiller (25/1 article + 8/2 letter), The Gristmiller's Grind (rivals' attack, 24/4), Locals' Grind (Oxford rivals, 16/5)
For recent background, go to Touch me minky and Please touch me minky.

December 2007: THE WHEEDLERS' WAR

At last obtained and published by Akme:
In all their shame, the failed applications by CUP (1940, 1941) and OUP (1944, 1950) for exemption from wartime taxes, featuring the Inland Revenue's rigorous investigations, the Special Commissioners' judgment (1940), the Oxford Vice-Chancellor's exaggeration, and both universities' unpatriotism.

Click for the UPs' 1940s Charity Status Press Release, Explanation and Index

August 2007: JIG UP FOR DIFFERENT TOTAL ANIMALS?

At last obtained and published by Akme:
In all their glory, the granted applications by CUP (1975) and OUP (1977) for exemption from UK tax, including the Inland Revenue correspondence and featuring Papa Crass's fuzzy logic, Ooh we are so antiente and so verie spetiall, the Underliner's Case, Blessed be the Biblebaggers, Lord Trumpington Todd's CV, Oxford's Glowing Beams, Shining Torches and Great Latin Pœnis, and many other classic comedy hits, but not featuring their previous rejected applications (CUP 1940, OUP 1952), which they have, er, "recently lost".

Click now for the CUP/OUP 1970s Charity Status Press Release and Index

THE CHARITY COMMISSION'S 'PUBLIC BENEFIT' CONSULTATION: AKME SCORES A PALPABLE HIT

In October 2007 the Charity Commission issued its Report on the first round of its consultations on the new 'public benefit' requirement of the 2006 Charities Act, which comes into force in 2008. This is the clause whereby all charities must in future demonstrate purposes which benefit the public, a condition which brings special focus (Bookseller 16th March and Guardian 17th April) to bear upon the tax position, anomalous since the 1970s, of the university presses, most notably OUP and CUP. There will now follow a series of further consultations on four specific types of charity: charities for the relief of poverty, charities for the advancement of religion, charities for the advancement of education, and fee-charging charities, with university presses (along with private schools, the Oxbridge colleges and, indeed, universities) falling into the latter two categories. The Charity Commission's Report devotes a whole paragraph (no. 52 of 55) to Andrew Malcolm's campaign and to this website. Note its wording carefully:
"There were a significant number of responses regarding the charitable status (or more specifically, the tax exempt status) of Oxford University and Cambridge University Presses, by virtue of their link to those Universities, and concerns about unfair competition by non-charitable publishing companies. This issue received some publicity through national press following a High Court action against OUP over the non-publication of an individual's text. The individual concerned subsequently published an account of his lawsuit and encouraged publishers (& members of the public) via his internet site to respond to our consultation. As a result we received several responses from commercial publishers objecting to OUP's & CUP's tax benefits."

Late-breaking Reece shock: "tax unimportant, we'd simply covenant our profits."

THE GATEKEEPER'S CREEP-OUT

OUP CEO Reece Lord Ganesha On 13th February 2007 extracts from a probing interview by Mukund Padmanabhan of OUP's Chief Executive Henry Reece were published in The Hindu newspaper, of Chennai (Madras), India. When quizzed about OUP's infamous poetry-axing of 1998, Reece stated: "We really don't have the people qualified to make judgments about contemporary poetry." (So much then for Oxford's Eng. Lit. Fac. - again). When tested on OUP's tax-exemption, he claimed: "It's not particularly financially important. It is more important as a statement of who we are (sic)." (In which case, who they are will presumably find no difficulty in paying all the back-tax they owe since 1978, renegotiating the numerous takeover deals they have concluded in the interim, and then handing over whatever's left of their £200+ million illegal reserves to a genuine charity - Oxfam perhaps). And when asked what will happen if/when OUP loses its tax-exemption, he asserted: "We would simply covenant our profits to the university." (Following the suggestion first mooted in the Fifth Appendix of The Remedy, but thirty years too late and totally blind, as always, to the fair trading issue.) As for Reece's fantastic "gatekeeper" guff (qv), I am reminded of an acquaintance who won a place to study at Oxford, but after a day-trip to the city turned it down. "Too many old gates," he explained.

But apart from noting that the uncharitable writing is now clearly on the Walton Street wall, what Akme really wants to know is why on earth did all these extraordinary admissions, risible suggestions and ill-considered whims creep out on the quiet in an Indian newspaper published five thousand miles away? Was Reece shyly, slyly kite-flying, by any chance, retro-active pre-emptive like? Kite-flying, of course, is a sub-continental speciality, but in 2001 OUP came down to earth there with a bang. - A. M.

Click now for the Akme version or the Hindu version (exits www.akme)


New for 2008: WELCOME TO BODLEYWORLD
Click for special Akme Sub-Index of reports about Oxford's exciting plan to build Academe's first underwater library

"The floors carrying the stacks under Broad St and the Radcliffe Camera penetrate up to four levels below street level. The water table in the alluvial gravels approaches street level during the wet season and rests only a few metres below it at other times. In effect, these storage facilities are like large tanks sitting in a surrounding lake." - John Hood, 3/5/2005
Artist's impression of New Bod Shed Radcliffe Square, 28/11/06
left: Artist's impression of the New Bod, to be called HMS Shedloanian
right: November 2006: the Aquabook scheme underway in Radcliffe Square: "water pouring in, money pouring out."

cover scan Susan Froud

Click for OUP'S REPORT AND ACCOUNTS, 2006/7

Featuring: The Bitch of the Baskervilles, Oxford a gas,
Surplus-turns-profit, £300 million and taxing

Also: Report & Accounts, 2005/6

Featuring: Q: Where is the university? A: Out of its mind - official

And: 1974/5, 1976/7, 1977/8, 1978/9, 1979/80

The lean, pre-charitable years. Background below.

THE OXFORD COLLEGE ACCOUNTS 2005/06

THE OXBRIDGE COLLEGE ACCOUNTS INDEX REVAMPED AND UPDATED
Endowment analyses dating back to 1973, league tables, post-SORP performance comparisons 2002-2006, anomalies, scandals, puzzles, newspaper articles, AKMEDIA CD-Roms, e-mailing service etc..

Click for Akme's OXBRIDGE ACCOUNTS INDEX and HISTORY

Shock file of the month (MSExcel): 32-year endowment income multipliers
Jesus over 27x, Pembroke under 5x. Why?

THE WORST SCIENCE TEXTBOOKS EVER PUBLISHED?

Former secondary-level science teacher Paul Hurt has approached Akme with shocking revelations about OUP's Framework Science course, launched in 2003. His school was conned into spending £30,000 on Oxford's set of teaching materials which, in the name of education, it was then obliged discreetly to ditch. According to Oxford, sodium hydroxide is now classed as an acid, Copernicus was arrested for his solarcentric views, and limestone is no use as a building material (to pick just three of the books' legion of howlers).

Click now for A CRITIQUE OF HURT

Then have your class sing: 'Reaction/To cretinous publication/Outsourced trash/Fizz for frothy foam/Crap!'

Akme would like to hear (in confidence if requested, to akme@btinternet.com) from other science teachers with similar views on OUP's Framework Science. Should it, like the RCN's Oxford Handbook of General and Adult Nursing (OUP 2007) and Oxford's Concise Dictionary of World Place Names, which confuses Bengal with Bangalore now be withdrawn and pulped as being too dangerous and insulting for publication?

TOUCH ME MINKY

Is OUP at last to lose its tax-exemption? Dim Squad clutches at Hefce straw. Situation "grotesquely unfair," says academic. Dame Leather to crack whip.
Click for The Bookseller 16/3/07, The Guardian 17/4/07 and background.

WHERE'S ME JOYSTICK?

Following the revelation that an airline owned by Oxford patron Wafic Saïd is running an empty passenger jet every day between Heathrow and Cardiff solely to retain its London runway slot, an even bigger waste scandal is emerging...
Click for Akme exclusive 23/3/07.

AKME IMPLEMENTED: OXFORD TO BE REBUILT

Adopting the recommendations of the Akme Report, Oxford's bankrupt university (The Times 25/1/05) is to lead the bulldozing and concreting of the city's centre and green belt to make way for shopping malls, car parks and student accommodation.
Click for The Oxford Times 2/3/07 and 9/3/07 and The Ignoble Road.

Gordon Brown

following the near-fatal shooting of John Hood (see next panel)...

SO BEGINS THE BROWNMAIL

linked series: Hefce's response (twixt votes), By the balls, Oxford to be taxed, Targeting poor, Messiah summoned, Hefce's Dear John letter, Sanctions ahoy, No surprise.

OXFORD'S VICE-CHANCELLOR SHOT

19th December 2006: Postal bullet inserted

New V-C
Oxford's new Vice-Chancellor,
holding the ceremonial silver bullet

Eyewitness reports by Akme governance correspondent Ollie Garchy, 14th & 28th November 2006

On 14th November, during the first round of Oxford's historic Congregation debate on governance reform, an American tourist asked one of the proctors manning the busy Sheldonian gates what was going on. The proctor replied: "They are deciding whether or not to shoot their Vice-Chancellor." After two hours it was voted that a ceremonial silver bullet be carried towards him very slowly by a butler flanked by bedels, through a five-year series of committees, amendments, appeals and further debates. Huddam Sossein requested that he be shot like a reformer rather than hanged as a common criminal, while elsewhere on the same day, the entire higher education ministry was taken hostage by a group of militants disguised as academics. Two weeks later at round two of the debate, because of the deteriorating security situation, instead of the usual formal robed procession, Noori Al-Hoodawi was hurriedly whisked into the building surrounded by a posse of nervous minders and wearing a simple camel-hair coat. Once inside, the civil war took a dramatic turn as they were met not with a single silver bullet but by a hail of gunfire which left 456 injured and President John seriously wounded. Some of Hoodawi's supporters tried to restore control by recruiting an army by mail order, but the resulting postal bullet went against the interim government 1540:997, leaving Al-Hoodawi fatally crippled and the Grey Zone buzzing with talk of a succession. According to The Independent, it was rumoured in Sadder City that Huddam Sossein had ordered one of his many 'doubles' to be shot in his place.

Reports, pre-votes: Independent, Guardian (Colin Lucas), Sunday Times, Observer, Times, Times leader, Times (Terence Kealey), Guardian (Chris Patten), Guardian leader, THES, Financial Times, Oxford Student, Cherwell, Varsity. Official OU transcripts of the debates: 14/11 & 28/11. Reports, post-vote 1 (14/11): Times, Telegraph 1, Guardian 1, Guardian 2, Independent, THES, Oxford Times, Oxford Student, Cherwell, BBC online, Vernon Bogdanor + comment links, Telegraph 2, Libby Purves. Post-vote 2 (28/11): Times, Telegraph, Guardian, Garton Ash + comment links, Financial Times, Independent, Times Higher, Al-Anryan, Bringing into the shit. Al-Hoodawi's I won't resign letter (Jpeg). Post-postal-bullet (20/12): Times + letters, Telegraph, Guardian 1, 2 + comments, Financial Times, Independent, THES.

5th October 2007: A billion Big Issues, Sir? Oxford Times

16th November 2007: Postal bullet arrives at destination: Independent & Times

22nd November 2007: King Gnome takes ricochet Guardian

Background: 2005 Hood's horizzzzon + links to V-Cs' orations; January: Oxford in crisis Times, Telegraph, Price of Europe, THES + leader; February Business Week on Hood and interview; Patten humming : Guardian, Varsity, Cherwell; Colleges to lose autonomy or not; March Mutiny, riots, rebellion; Hood's foreign horizzzzon; Simon Jenkins' Over the brink; Two appointments with Mammon; Needn't pay, won't pay!; Learning environments plurality; April: Staff bullied with bad syntax THES, Guardian, Independent, Guardian 2. May Appointment of Julie Maxton, disappointment of Anthony Howard, mitherings of Alan Ryan. Cong votes 351-153: Guardian, Independent, Times, Oxford Times, Boston Globe. V-C's letter on Indian post-doctorals and He don't resign. Autumn: President John in Far East, Enough Saïd, Times, Financial Times, Hood hunted, Oxford Student, Cherwell, Lord Butler, Indy leaders, Hood's boost, Curb your Vice-Chancellor, Scheming spires. 2006: Family matters. Basket case in pinky-yellow gives FT interview and turns Beggar Sahib. Dons plan protest + letters, $420,000, No confidence vote and New turmoil + Victor Blank items, Pinky and Perky, Shackled, Boil lancing, Hood under fire, then Dismembered (An al-Ryan holding knife + Akme's proposal), Hood under fire again, but gets Whacking rise. The College Game, OXIP & Prospectus, JRAM raid, A World-Class Mess, Bam!, Forth!, Flying Sheets, Blank off! King Gnome's Cream Tea, Luscious Liora Lazarus, Julie Maxton interviewed. The anti-Hood Blue Paper. Hood & Dellandrea caught in bed with Al Qaeda oil suspect: Times, Times Higher, Oxford Student, Cherwell. Wafic Saïd exposed in BAE bungs scandal: Oxford's Al-YamahYamahYamah and Oxford, Arms Trader.

At last, an amusing item in the Oxford Magazine 22/6/2007 by A. W. F. Edwards & Lewis Carroll

Click for FAME'S PENNY-TRUMPET

THE MASQUE OF ACADEME

Dim mask 1 Dim mask 2

Early in 2006 an eminent Oxford academic, who knew nothing of this website or of the history that generated it, was introduced to Andrew Malcolm's two books Making Names and The Remedy. He was very impressed by the former (so impressed that he tried to find a publisher for it abroad - another story), and deeply shocked by the latter (so shocked that he now spits, he says, every time he passes the OUP building). His rage prompted him to fire off a pastiche of Shelley's famous poem of 1819 The Mask of Anarchy. Shelley wrote his blistering attack on the British ruling class on hearing news when in Italy of the Peterloo massacre, in which local cavalry were ordered to charge a crowd of unarmed, working-class demonstrators in Manchester, killing 11 and wounding 400.

Click now for The Masque of Academe

SLAVERY, CENSORSHIP, AIRBASES, OIL

In December 2006 Andrew Malcolm was approached by Cherwell reporter Joshua Freedman (sic) and commissioned to write a comment article on Oxford's governance chaos for the new term's first issue. After a set of interesting e-mail exchanges, Malcolm wrote various versions of a piece entitled AIRBASES AND OIL. On 7th January the article was spiked by Freedman's 'superiors'.

Click for Explanation (e-mails) and versions of article: 1200 words, 1000 words, 900 words (final), 900 words + links. See also Students are not slaves.

MAN OF STRAWS

In April 2005 Alan Ryan (see New trough trouble and below) threatened Andrew Malcolm with a defamation suit over the posting on this website of the celebrated A2B letter of 2/1/98 from Will Straw (son of Jack). Click for MAN OF STRAWS and Done quietly pdf. For Ryan's latest short-straw access plan, try Dim, idle, wicked, THES 19/1/07.

Pinkys and Perkys first!

MARCH 2007: PINKY AND PERKY
IN NEW TROUGH TROUBLE
Aylesbury development land in River Thame flood plain

Following last year's "Cream Tea" controversy generated by Oxford's New College Fellows sharing amongst themselves the windfall profits from their £60 million Aylesbury development land sale, in breach both of charity law (the Fellows are trustees) and the College's own Statute XVII.12 (see Sunday Times, letters, Times Higher, Daily Telegraph, Oxford Student and Cherwell), more news is emerging that may further dampen the spirits of its lucky beneficiaries: the houses are being built perilously close to the River Thame flood plain, so close that the scheme has had to include large "balancing ponds" along its southern perimeter. Could it all prove to be New's New Orleans?

Pinky at study Perky at trough

Click now for exclusive Akme photo-report QUIETLY FLOWS THE DONWEE

Also click for King Gnome's explanation Who runs may read, New College Fellows list (Calendar entry 2005/6) or Akme background or Statute XVII or Clause 12 or II.15 'Deprivation' of Warden. Also New College Accounts: 2001/2 (Akme htm), 2002/3 (Akme pdf), 2004/5 (New College pdf). The New College Visitor.

China Syndrome Within 24 hours of Akme's last Trough Trouble posting (27th September 2006), the site's extensive links on Google were all erased. What price the Goflood-Ogrex agreement? Two weeks later, after representations to Google (and a panel headlined "Search engine hits buffers"), Akme's links were restored. Official Google explanation: "We were sending out a newer binary/executable and different data centers had different versions of the binary. Every data center now has the new binary." Well bless my binaries, and only the Akme links got wiped!

THE OXFORD CRIMSON, THE OXFORD WHITE

Sunday Times, 4th March 2007: Oxford attacked by Rhodes scholars and for public school bias.

8th March: Oxford Professor of Mars Bars and Tabasco throws up: The Independent, Daily Mail + links.

WARNING: ONLY FOR EXTREME SADIMASOCHISTS

In response to requests from a couple of Oxonian scholars who have been burrowing ever deeper into the grim annals of Malcolm vs. Oxford I, I have posted up the party-party correspondence with solicitors Clifford Chance that led to the extraordinary settlement agreement of 1st July 1992. Gas masks and neurological warfare suits are advised. - A. M.
Click for the first item + preamble in the linked series or for the correspondence index.

New Oxford trademark suit ahoy, polloi...?

Xania shopfront Xania shirtfront

Semiotic shirtmaker takes on DIM-squad: click for Crete con

JANUARY 2006: OXFORD DRAFTS STUDENT CONTRACT

MAY 2006: AKME LAUNCHES STUDENT LAW LIBRARY

scan scan An entirely new resource, unique on the web, providing a free archive of UK cases, news reports and other materials relating to university-student and college-student contract law. Thanks to increasing top-up fees and student indebtedness, not to mention Oxford's vanguard defensive contract, student litigation has become a subject of rapidly growing importance. With its extensive and successful experience in the field, Akme is pleased to assist in this brave new endeavour.

Click for the AKME STUDENT LAW LIBRARY INDEX, plus detailed press release, glossary and litigation guide.

OXFORD'S CONTRACT: Beloff's draft (pdf) via OUSU introduction. Reports: The Times 31/1/06 + letters, Oxford Student 26/1, The Guardian 1/2, + comment pieces by Germaine Greer and John Sutherland. Financial Times 1/2. THES 3/2: Students attack and Defensive education. Birmingham Post 1/2: Only at Oxford. Telegraph 3/2: Tom Utley. Cherwell 3/2: Codification. Independent 4/2: Howard Jacobson. Oxford Student: Delay, NUS comment, Charter barter, Unconfidence of Colleges, Students denied info, Univ wide. See also University of crime, the landmark Wolverhampton case and the Hurstpierpoint case.

Lawyers ask: "Where's the consideration?"
Beloff says: "I'm confident I can locate the document."
Akme declares: "Oxford's a basket case."

LATEST: Johann Hari, Guardian front page, 11/9/06: Turnup or Godown
Oxford attacked on 9/11, declares a WAR ON ERROR (Akme exclusive).

OXFORD'S STUDENT RENT RACKETS

Inequality attacked 4/02, Students go home! 10/03, Massive rises 1/04, Bursars' secret report (pdf), Authorities outraged 1/04, Above the odds 4/04, Bursars run scared 6/04 + links, University sellout 6/05 highest in country 2/07.

Sentence (and sentiment) of the year

In the OXFORD MAGAZINE, 13th March 2006, from leading article Whither the Task Force? by editor Gavin Williams, questioning proposed new appraisal criteria for Oxford academics: "Perhaps we should be told now and in the future - in the spirit of transparency - which of are our colleagues are recognised to be more meritorious than the rest of us and by how much." (sic)

August 2005: CORRECTION: OXFORD IS RACIST - official

Keble pays Asian accountant 'substantial damages' exclusive report

Late in 2004, to celebrate the fact that no legal action alleging racial discrimination had ever successfully been brought against any Oxford college or the University, Akme assembled a special OXFORD IS NOT RACIST INDEX of reported incidents and failed lawsuits. Now with the dramatic conclusion of Diamond Versi vs Keble College & Roger Boden, in which both the college and its bursar have been found guilty of racial discrimination and unfair dismissal, Oxford's blameless record and reputation have been irrevocably shattered. For the benefit of scholars Akme has collated the papers in this important, fascinating, at times comical, and very Oxford case, and posted them in a special new indexed and linked series. Note Warden Averil Cameron's 'under payment'.
Click now for the VERSINDEX or for the first item in the series Dramatis Personae or for The Reading Judgment. DEVELOPMENTS OCTOBER 2005: A result! Averil Cameron is 'taking a sabbatical' at Princeton, Tim "wholly unsatisfactory" Jenkinson (rf. Judgment para. 25.11 &ff) has been appointed acting warden. One of many puzzling items in the case is the injudicious, sycophantic (of Boden) letter written by Keble's Asian JCR President Mohsin Zaidi and published by The Oxford Student, an exhibit so creepy it provoked a stinging reponse (same file) from fellow-Asian Parnesh Sharma, a lawyer at Oriel. Akme has learnt that after the Reading judgment, with the proceedings (the damages assessment, Keble's appeal) still ongoing, Averil Cameron circulated all junior members with an extraordinary e-mail requesting them to write supportive letters to the press. Adding this to her magnificent "We do not recognize the Tribunal's findings" remark, it is no wonder she has taken refuge in the USA.

OCTOBER 2005: VALE OXFORD'S VALE

"The performance of the Oxford colleges' assets in land, property and shares has been described as lamentably poor... the colleges are trying to bail themselves out of investment blunders by building ever-bigger portfolios of lucrative (student) housing." Times Higher, October 2004.
"Many of the colleges appear to be quite active in the buying and selling of land... but the profits on these sales are omitted [from their accounts], figures which normally carry serious tax implications. Perhaps the 'SORP' guidelines for HE institutions do not require such figures, but then perhaps they do not envisage these institutions operating like speculative property developers." Scout (Akme), September 2004

Grenoble Road site Binsey Sunningwell
I know, let's build here at Grenoble Road (Magdalen), here in Binsey (Christ Church), and here in Sunningwell (Worcester)

In the face of the university's financial meltdown (see www.akme, all files), several of the colleges are presently resorting to the exploitation of their vast landholdings by wangling a series of insupportable planning permissions, including several, ironically, in their city's own Green Belt. The most ruinous of these is a massive development being urged by Magdalen College on its land to the south of Grenoble Road. This was first broached publicly in 2002 with a proposal for 1,000 houses. Note, as the argument has roller-coasted between the City and County and Parish Councils, the political parties, the Regional Assembly (SEERA), the university, the green groups and the Government, how this figure has swelled, to 3,000, 5,000 and even to 25,000, or "two Abingdons". The 30-mile urban sprawl now envisaged for Oxford has even been compared to Los Angeles. Praise be to the Lord and to the "eleemosynary chartered charitable corporation aggregate" that is Magdalen College (hereinafter Maglen Corp).

Click to tread Maglen Corp's IGNOBLE ROAD See also LOONEY BINSEY
plus The Acland Fiasco (Keble), Botley Road Hotels (Christ Church), Clone City (Queen's, Lincoln) and King Gnome's Cream Tea (New)

July-October 2006: Exeter's Far Pavilions (4-file series)

Coming soon: Northfield Brook (Brasenose) and St John's parable of the good landlord

OUP'S TAX: MAD CASH COW DISEASE SPREADS

"The Press is an extremely significant flag-bearer for the University: with its 4,700 staff worldwide, it is in many countries the physical presence of the University." Click for OUP's 2005/6 accounts . Also OUP ACCOUNTS INDEX, 2003/4, 1976-1980, featuring Oxford's only-ever mention of OUP's tax-exemption.

BACKGROUND. It is not widely known that OUP's tax-exemption (it does not have charitable status) is not automatic but was in fact granted as recently as 1978, on the conditions (a) that any and all of its surpluses must be ploughed back into 'non-commercial publishing' and (b) that it must on no account become a source of income for its university. Since then, it has become wildly in breach of both of these conditions, and has inevitably prospered at the expense of its tax-paying rivals, many of which it has gobbled up. It is now said to be the UK's largest independent publisher. OUP has persistently refused to reveal its covert correspondence of 1977/8 with the Inland Revenue, but Akme has lately obtained the university's key undertaking, which was: "OUP's trading surplus is devoted in its entirety to the maintenance and development of publishing which will promote its (educational and scholarly) objectives; it is not sought for its own sake or to be put to any other use."

Now click for OUP's 2003 boast that between 1997 and 2003 it contributed over £202 million to the university for capital projects including its £60 million purchase of the John Radcliffe Infirmary site for conversion to lucrative student accommodation. Note also this straw in the wind: in August 2003 Joel Rickett publicly drew attention to the anomaly - the first time the issue has ever been raised in any national newspaper. - A. M.

Other files: THE SURPRISING TRUTH ABOUT OUP'S 'CHARITABLE STATUS', the 5th Appendix to The Remedy. OUP'S U.S. TAX-EXEMPTION plus facsimiles and brief. CUP'S TAX-EXEMPTION, M. H. Black's Charitable status recognised. THE WALDOCK REPORT, Oxford's own pre-exempt study. THE INDIAN JUDGMENT, OUP's lost 25-year appeal of 2001 plus news reports Huge tax bill 21/3/01 & A Message from India 30/3/01. THE SOUTH AFRICAN CASES, remnants of Empire? Other articles: Mammon's Imprint, OUP fights corner, US tax freedom all 12/2/99, OUP 'donates' £87 million 17/7/99, breach denied 5/11/99, books cooked 12/11/99, profit row 25/2/00, chemistry abandoned 10/04, ultra unsound flouting 2/06

Quietly runs the bathwater*: Alan Ryan's affirmative action

Oxford's leading exact thinker is famously a past master of "changing his mind"; indeed this great intellectual gymnast seems to think of U-turns as the very marks of sophistication, but to spin 180 degrees within seven days is surely a record, even for him...
  • Cherwell, 10th February 2006 (click for article): Tutors who have spoken to Cherwell have expressed their disinclination to implement the recommendations of 'positive action'. Alan Ryan, Warden at New College said: "At Oxford we have a notion of merit that makes us think that it's simply unjust to take someone with worse skills than someone we turn down. I'm not in principle hostile to affirmative action - I spent a lot of time in the States and saw it working not too badly - but I doubt it would work very well here."

  • The Times Higher, 17th February 2006 (click for article): One job that Hefce should give up anyway is "access". This is a delicate issue, so I put my cards on the table first. I have always supported affirmative action; and since the American evidence suggests that affirmative action students do much better at "top-tier" colleges and universities than anywhere else, I would support it at Oxbridge and the rest of the Russell Group.

  • Akme Exclusive: In 1998 the wily warden's own affirmative access action favoured Jack Straw's son Will with a backdoor (A2B) Oxford place. Click for Done quietly (pdf), 2004 footnote and 2005 Man of Straws. For Ryan's latest short-straw access plan, try Dim, idle, wicked, THES 19/1/07.

  • Further medal-winning Ryanastics: Disobey, Money, Umbrage, Oxford blues, Circle squarer, Stalin, Football mad, Wicked, Malcolm versus, Exit ranting, Abolish state education, Hip prat crit, Drowning fish, Cock up, Metric psycho, Pinky & Perky, Carry on clunking.

* HE Akmeflash, 7th October 2005: The Times Higher reports that "a global sample of research-active science academics", somewhat controversially, voted Cambridge and Oxford the world's two top universities for science, ahead of their American, Asian and European rivals. It also announces that the THES and TES have been sold by Rupert Murdoch's News International to City outfit Exponent Private Equity, which has appointed as the magazines' new chief executive one Bernard Gray, who studied chemistry at, er... Hertford College, Oxford. Also in the same issue Alan Ryan begins his regular comment piece with the paragraph: "I was splashing quietly in my bath when it occurred to me how much easier it would be to move heavy objects if we rolled them on some sort of cylinder rather than having parties of slaves haul them around on skids. When I put this thought to my wife, she mentioned that the wheel had been in use for some time and that it sounded as though my brain had not been." No surprise then, that for two years UK has not won a Nobel prize for science.

See also King Gnome's Cream Tea

JANUARY 2006: OXFORD MEDICINE A BASKET CASE?

Spurious tests, six-fingered hands, £50K bungs, £22K fixes, stillborn babies and the John Radcliffe bottom of the league - Oxford medicine looks dead on arrival

Click for Boggis & Bunce & Bane Sunday Times 8/1/06, Zygotes Wild Akme exclusive 23/1/06, Oxnob reek leak Guardian 22/2/05, Degrees of snobbery Oxford Student 24/2/05, University fixes Oxford Mail 6/8/04, Laura Spence notes BBC 26/5/00

KEBLE vs. ST JOHN'S: THE COLLEGES BASKET CASES?

Acland site

For some years Keble College had its eyes on the nearby Acland Hospital, which Nuffield Healthcare was due to vacate. Keble sought a valuation, and in 2001 was advised that the site's maximum value was £6 million. In 2004 this figure was increased to £7.4m, but in the event, Keble paid £10.75m, almost double the original valuation. Why? Because this exempt educational charity found itself in a bidding war with another, St. John's, which wisely backed out when the going got so crazy. Thus does the college system waste its own, the public's and its students' money, and thus does it ruinously distort Oxford's property market. Keble's stated reason for the purchase was to increase its student accommodation, but in fact, to raise the necessary cash, Keble had to sell its entire portfolio of city-centre houses, reducing its overall student capacity and increasing its rents, while the Acland's refurbishment has already gone way over budget and way behind schedule. The real reasons for Keble's purchase are to provide luxury accommodation for its Fellows (who are not too thrilled by living in the brickyard) and to improve its lucrative conference facilities (the college has strong old-boy links with US financial consultants McKinseys, not to mention the arms trade). And who masterminded this sinister folly? Enter Roger Boden, the college's Bursar, Secretary of the University Estates Committee, and the man recently adjudged a racist in the Versi case. Click now for his own account of the Acland fiasco or go to The Boden Catalogue.

OVER 25% OF ODNB ENTRIES UNRELIABLE?

Since its vaunted launch in September 2004, there have appeared in the media a growing number of reports of inaccuracies in OUP's long-awaited Oxford Dictionary of National (Notional?) Biography: Sunday Telegraph 24/10/04, various TLS letters and a contributor's detailed TLS letter, 11/2/05, which suggests that more than a quarter of the dictionary's 55,000 entries may contain errors. See also Bookworm 18/2/05, Observer 6/3/05, Library Journal 15/4/05, Oldie, 12/05.
How, one wonders, will Oxford's £7,500-a-go customers react to all this disappointing news?

April 2004: HS Tank on Oxford's playing fields

blue1.jpg blue1.jpg

Unsporting university loses patent case

The Times, The Guardian, Oxford Mail, Fashion Capital, the Registrar's decision (pdf), Patent Office's Case summary, Forrester Ketley's lawyers' newsletter, HS Tank's Oxford Blue webpage, and Charles Tyrwhitt's Oxford Blue shirt.

October 2004: Government tanks on Oxford's lawns

Fire! Fire!
click on images to enlarge

Extraordinary valedictory (?) oration by Michael Beloff - for pejorative penumbra of paramountcy, click: The Times, Telegraph, Guardian, Independent, Times Higher. For offtoff spinoff: Oxford private in 5 years?, Hoogstraten's hireling, Will Hutton returns fire , Patten's tank, Tea party on Isis, Government retreat, Apocalypse no, Kim Howells' speech. Offtoffprof appointed: Harris, Manchester, his public statement, Times report, Offtoffprofsoft?, Offa toothless. Beloff heads for bar, Clare Sambrook's Camburgers, Andrew Malcolm's aromatherapeutic letter.

MORE OXFORD ACCESS SCANDALS

19-HOUR BENDERS AT ALL SOULS

To Oblivion and beyond: All Hours College, 23/9/05, Taking the Piss, 16/6/06 and Sunstroke too

CORPUS CHRISTI'S BROTHEL

Late-breaking story in The Gloucestershire Echo about the college's immoral earnings

COMMERCIALISM CLOSE TO PROSTITUTION says Oxford manager

University marque appears on baby clothes, garden tools, croquet sets. Click for Times 16/4/05 and Oxford Times 22/4/05.
See also Corpus Christi's brothel, OUP's pornography, and Oxford's Blue plus links

BULLINGDON BOYS RUN AMOK... AGAIN

Hilarious Oxford Student reports and comments 13/1/05 and 2/3/05

OXFORD BANS PHOTOGRAPHY, GIRLFRIENDS, E-MAILS

University serves bizarre injunctions against animal rights: Oxford Times, 15/4/05

NORRINGTON LEAGUE TABLES FRAUDULENT

College performance results exposed, 23/7/04 then scrapped, 12/11/04

OXFORD'S NAZI LOOT

Nuremburg war crimes link exposed Flick off, 4/97

ORIEL FLOGS FIRST FOLIO

Exit 'inalienable' Shakespeare in Bard for Bucks, 3/03

CARPET COLLEGE'S RUG PULLED

Harris Manchester threadbare: 9/03 and 10/03

OXFORD LAUNCHES DIMTANIC

Dons rush for lifeboats as iceberg looms, 1/04

MY WORST TIME

Amazing retirement revelation by Margaret Goodall, OUP's Mother of all Secretaries

January 2005: 'DOWN WITH OXBRIDGE' PROGRAMME CENSORED

On 14th December 2004 Andrew Malcolm was invited by BBC Radio 4 producer Ben Crighton to speak on behalf of proposer Guardian journalist David Walker, who was opposed by the President of Magdalen College, Oxford, Anthony Smith. Malcolm prepared a 5-minute spiel for pre-recording, but on 28th December he was informed without explanation (e.g. without anyone asking to read his script) that, after all, he could not participate in (or even attend) the debate, held at Magdalen on 7th January. Crighton told another contributor that "because Mr Malcolm is in litigation against the university (untrue), there are legal issues". God, as usual, is great. Click for transcript of programme

February 2004: CONTROL OF WWW.AKME RESTORED

After the bizarre events at Borders' Oxford bookshop in October 2002 (see below), Akme lost control of this website, with any attempt to edit existing files or upload new ones (text or image) resulting in their erasure. Fortunately, just as this mysterious jamming was beginning, US Akme agent Michael Sayers established a link to a mirror index page which from late 2002 carried all Akme's news bulletins, including the various subsequent Borders developments, Andrew Malcolm's blocked candidacy in March 2003 for the the Oxford University chancellorship, and OUP's illegal donation to the university in August 2003 of £77 million. In February 2004 Akme switched to a new service-provider and recovered apparent control of www.akme, so visitors are now advised to re-bookmark this page, whilst keeping Sayers' mirror bookmarked too, just in case. The previously censored THES articles have also been restored.

OTHER PUBLISHING NEWS

THE HISTORY OF AKME AND OF THIS WEBSITE

A brief history of the site's life and growth since its inception in September 1997.

THE AKME LITERARY LAW LIBRARY

A unique resource specifically designed for authors (or publishers) contemplating litigation. The library contains all relevant precedents from the English archives, a series of articles by lawyer Nicola Solomon, and other materials.

THE AKME OXFORD CUTTINGS LIBRARY

An archive of published Oxford and OUP scandals, definitions for dollars 1985, the Tehran Book Fair 1989, the poetry-axing fiasco 1998, Oxford's various Indian tamashas and sundry other scandals.

ABOUT MAKING NAMES

The book that started it all, with links to Reviews by Karl Popper, Roy Edgley and others, TES 9/92, Spectator 4/93, Oxford Student 5/02 rave by Arina Patrikova: "One of the most powerful statements of the human condition written in the past century." Opening passage plus mail order information etc.

ABOUT THE REMEDY

Rave review by Henry Hardy in THES, 3/01: "Andrew Malcolm has written two excellent books... in a sane world... etc." also by The AUT (Association of University Teachers), 12/01: "It is of course in the interest of the big academic publishers such as Oxford and Cambridge to suppress knowledge of the Malcolm case." Also see Oxford Times and Cherwell. Opening passage plus mail order information etc.

MALCOLM vs. OXFORD ROUND 1: 1986-92

Extracts from the 1990 Judgments, The 1990 Court of Appeal judgment complete, The 1990 Chancery Court judgment complete, The Damages Assessment findings, 1991, McGregor on Royalties, The Case History
THE CASE PAPERS INDEX The fascinating judgments and court files in the original case: evidence, documents, affidavits, statements and courtroom testimony, all scanned, transcribed, indexed, cross-referenced and interlinked for easy navigation. Delight, for example, in the cross-examination of Oxford's six witnesses, Sir Roger Elliott, Ivon Asquith, Richard Charkin, Henry Hardy, Margaret Goodall and Nicola Bion. Newspaper reports: Observer 11/3/90 (first in linked series), Times 19/12/90, Guardian, Telegraph, Argus, Bookseller, Observer, plus an older News Items file.

New posting, January 2007: The party-party correspondence with solicitors Clifford Chance that led to the extraordinary settlement agreement of 1st July 1992. Click for first item + preamble in linked series or for correspondence index.

MALCOLM vs. OXFORD ROUND 2: 2001-02

THE CASE PAPERS INDEX. The fully indexed and documented farce of Oxford's unique 1992 non-denigration agreement and Alan Ryan's breach of it in April 2001, featuring Michael Beloff QC's "Seven Centuries of Mystery Tour". Thanks to this second case, the Vice Chancellor and Pro-Vice-Chancellors are now legally speaking no longer servants or agents of their university. Newspaper report: Times Higher 22/2/02.

AKME EXPRESSION, MAY-JUNE 2002

The Shopfront the Descent
THE LEGAL BACKGROUND and Malcolm's Lectureship offer
THE BROAD STREET SHOP featuring the Gallery of Shame, Akme University, St. Frideswide's grotto, Akme Ball etc.
Reports: LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS Oxford Times 21/6
THES 26/4, Oxford Times 26/4, Guardian 30/4, Oxford Star 2/5, Oxford Student 2/5, Cherwell 3/5, Publishing News 10/5, Private Eye 17/5, Guardian 25/6, South China Morning Post 11/5, Change (US H.E. journal), Philosophers' Magazine.
Alan Ryan quits, ranting: THES 31/5, Cherwell 7/6, other quotes
Rave review of Making Names in Oxford Student 30/5: "One of the most powerful statements of the human condition written in the past century."

BORDERS ON THE INSANE October 2002 - January 2003

Borders protesting prof
BORDERS SUMMON THOUGHT POLICE 4th October 2002, Borders, Oxford: First book-bust in Europe since the Nazis? Daily Telegraph 12/10/02 + photos, Oxford Times 11/10, Oxford Mail 11/10, Brighton Argus 15/10, Oxford Student 10/10.

POLICE HOLD BACK 30th January 2003, Borders, London: Malcolm delivers talk Where is the university? Independent 30/12/02, Oxford Times & Mail 17/1/03, Brighton Argus 29/1, Cherwell 24/1.

WHERE IS THE UNIVERSITY? In response to public demand, the text of Malcolm's talk of 30th January 2003.

MALCOLM'S FIFTY February - March 2003

Cherwell Cherwell
Arcanery or chicanery, it's the same old Oxford story.
Detail of Andrew Malcolm's blocked candidacy for the University Chancellorship and 54 disenfranchised members of Convocation. Reports: Guardian 11/2, Guardian 25/2 Guardian 26/2, Brighton Argus 8/2, Oxford Times 7/2, Cherwell 7/2 Cherwell 7/3, Oxford Student 6/2 Oxford Student 13/2 "Malcolm the serious contender", Oxford Student 6/3.

e-mail: akme@btinternet.com